Pre-Court: The Trial

Steve was decked out in a blue oxford shirt with his beige linen suit, and a blue, olive and beige silk tie. He added a little extra American sex appeal by wearing his new, brown Blundstone boots.

Jane approved.

Jane was simple elegance. A black and white mini-checked rayon dress with a mandarin collar and peek-a-boo opening at her clavicle. Silver painted toenails and silver beaded earrings. Black strappy sandals.

Steve more than approved.

We had heard the event would be fairly brief. We weren’t worried. We knew we might be asked about why we chose Kazakhstan, and how our families and community would respond to our having an Asian child. The answers were simple and true.

But we hadn’t prepared to be told about families who had murdered their adopted children. We didn’t expect to be looked at as harboring the potential for harm. We thought that the fact that we both worked in education would be proof that we were “children” people. Caring people. Family people.

Some things don’t translate.

So we responded to the court’s apprehensions. We shared our sense of horror. Jane pointed at Steve and said “He’s the most gentle man on the planet.” Really. Are you even looking at my husband???

Steve thought they’re probably wondering about Jane. She can get pretty feisty on those calls with Marin County about her work.

They also told us, repeatedly, that Jem’s birthmother could still come forth, and that they would defend her right to parent her child.

We shook our heads, “Yes, we want whatever’s best for this child,” but the truth is we both were starting to sweat.

They told us that Kazakh mothers believe in staying home for three years with their baby. They asked what our plans are. They asked whether we had the financial resources to take care of a baby.

And then.

And then the judge looked at Steve’s shoes. She pointed. She was on the brink of laughter. What she said next was translated as: “He looks like a workman.”

Jane rushed to legal defense. “In America, these are very stylish shoes.”
Steve: “I got married in these!”
Judge: “Married in those!?” she laughed, sending us out into the warm Astana afternoon, overdressed, heavily-shoed, and with a court date to finalize the adoption process in two weeks.