Bonnie and Clyde

Before our arrival at the baby house, we were told not to take photos of other children. We were asked to keep our camera activity low profile, which we did--aside from turning Jem’s life into a paparazzi nightmare. We certainly didn’t want to upset anyone who could influence our adoption process in any way.

But, when we were alone with Jem, outside, we sometimes had visitors. There was always a group of 3-4 year olds playing on the swings and slides, grabbing fistfuls of grass and dirt—you know the routine. Two children, in particular, were curious about all the cooing on Jem’s blanket. Nadja and Vanya. They are the renegades in their troupe. They wandered off frequently and we often heard their names being screamed with impatience and irritation. Sort of the way you yell at a dog who has just jumped up onto the kitchen table to help himself to a fine dining experience.

Nadja, a blonde-haired, blue-eyed explorer, is a natural born leader. With a devilish look on her face, she's the first to come outside and the last to leave. Today, she ran loops around a visiting car. She isn’t afraid of anyone. Nadja won us over the first day we saw her. We always welcomed her visits, even if they ended with her being yelled at again. She didn’t care, so why should we? One day she fell out of formation, as her group was walking to the playground, to run up to Jane and hug her tightly around the knees. Jane hugged her back before she was sentenced to 15 years of hard labor.

Vanya is a special friend. He’s a complete sweetheart. He also has fetal alcohol syndrome, and we surmise that this is why his movements are a little awkward. Just today we watched him fall down the Astroturf stairs heading out of the baby house. He just tumbled in slow motion, headfirst, happily sliding down the steps as if this is just another way to get to the park. His caretaker shrieked his name, as she often does, and yanked him up by the arm. And then he was back on his feet, shuffling down the remaining steps like, well, a person who’s been drinking a little too much. Bittersweet.

Vanya often visited us with a big stone in his hand. He likes to pick things up and give them to you. Perhaps a nearby shoe, or a plastic dinosaur. Once he offered us his pail of dirt. He also wanted us to give things to him. We were a little leery at first, but it became clear, quite quickly, that he simply wanted to give those things back to us. It was all about the exchange. He’s a relational man. If he didn’t have a hard road ahead of him, he could break a woman’s heart.

We haven’t seen much of Nadja and Vanya lately, since the cooler weather has relegated our visits with Jem to the indoors. But we still hear their names screamed like little swear words throughout the day. We walk to the windows in the playroom and see them being singled out for their individuality, which we secretly cheer on.